by Noel Hynd
hi! my name is Ghosts by Noel Hynd and i really, really want to be a movie!
i am really cinematic! in fact, i am about an Academy award-winning actress! a diva! i'm also about the very scenic Nantucket Island! beautiful and atmospheric scenery - possibly to be had at a surprisingly low price for the producer on a budget! there are ghosts on this island... and lots of flashbacks - just take your pick! even better, a haunted house! my prologue is awesome, it really sets the mood plus it has sexed-up teenagers being slaughtered! later, there's a studly and serious police enforcement type hero to boldly protect my emotional heroine who has a troubled past! well, at least as much as my feisty, independent heroine will let him, she's such a classic and attractive diva of a certain age who tries to be strong, but she really needs a man too, she just doesn't want to admit it, fortunately he's a strong silent supportive type who eventually breaks down her barriers with his innate goodness, but not right away so there are many scenes where she still gets to be terrified and he does a lot of catching up, and my gosh the ghost can even follow them around, it's mobile - a great twist right - but don't worry (and no spoiler here)... let's just say that by the end you definitely won't be surprised about how things turn out! not one bit! my narrative is full of unsurprising surprises and my prose is clear, straightforward, basically inoffensive - all the better for literally any screenwriter to adapt me with ease! hey guess what, i have a "quirky oddball sidekick/ black character/ mysterious guy with a haunted past/ and also a kind of exorcist" type character - and as far as wacky, offbeat characters who only exist in the movies go, i KNOW that's a winner! also, religion is both bad and good! classic, right? it all sounds super-cinematic, right? okay then, Why haven't you made me into a movie yet for chrissakes its been 20 flippin' years!! come on already!! i'm getting a little desperate here.