Shades of Grey

by Jasper Fforde

the world of Shades of Grey is a nightmarish dystopia: a ruthless totalitarian regime that destroys all individualistic spirit, all creativity and ambiguity and questioning of authority; a monstrous government that divides its citizens into color-stratified class/caste systems that is based upon the inherent physical deficiencies of its populace; a place with no love and where death is the end result for the underdog and misfit.

sounds pretty bleak, right? well, dear reader, think again! this rather amazing novel is as light and airy as a souffle, a real pleasure to consume from beginning to end. i was smiling constantly and laughing out loud nearly as often. the tone is brisk and drily amusing. the plot and the various details of our young hero's travails are wonderfully absurd: the punishment for his past cheekiness is to conduct a "Chair Census"; he must beware deadly carnivorous swans and "mega-fauna"; his greatest ambition is to be the head of a String Factory! upstairs from him and his dad lives the "Apocryphal Man" - an historian the state has deemed 'does not exist', and so is free to wander around naked, stealing food, muttering terrifying truths yet remaining unmolested. the love of his life is mean Jane - a Grey, the lowest caste - a rebel with a cause who does not hesitate to punish him drastically whenever he gets in her way.

the writing itself is splendid. Fforde is a deadpan and satirical author with a perfect grasp of what to show, what to tell, what to keep hidden, and what to save for an exciting climax. i was reminded of several things when reading this book: the equally absurd and distinctly provincial post-apocalyptic settings of Dick's Dr. Bloodmoney and Miller's A Canticle for Leibowitz, and especially the delightful skewerings of english village life within the Mapp & Lucia series of E.F. Benson. much like the latter, the humor within Shades of Grey is derived almost entirely from the Comedy of Manners.

a Post-Apocalyptic Comedy of Manners set within a Provincial Dystopic Colortocracy! how's that for original?

best of all, for me at least, this wonderful novel does not have a genuinely cynical bone in its body. yes, it skewers hypocrisy and stupidity in the most cutting way. yes, it is about a vicious, cruel future. but it also believes in investing its hero and heroine with the power to change themselves, to fall in love, to try to bravely risk changing the world around them. and it portrays all of the good and all of the bad with the lightest, most charming of touches.

i am really looking forward to the sequel!

Chronicles of the Black Company

by Glen Cook

"Oh, 'twould be marvelous if the world and its moral questions were like some game board, with plain black players and white, and fixed rules, and nary a shade of grey."

war is hell. hell is other people. other people are other people. other people have their problems. i have my own problems. my people are my people. their goals are my goals. we do what we can. we fight in a war. war is a business. war is our business.

The Black Company is a mercenary outfit. they are from the South; they currently work in the North. they fight for the Lady. they fight against the Rebel. they fight against the Lady. they fight for the White Rose. they fight for the Lady again. they fight for evil, they fight for good. they fight for who pays them. they fight against those who are against them. they do terrible things. they do some good things too.

Glen Cook was in the military. he understands what could be called the military mindset, i suppose. his characters feel completely real. they feel like real soldiers. they are cynical; they follow orders; their first loyalty is to each other. Cook writes in choppy, abrupt, stripped down prose, like a journalist writing on-the-spot field reports. his prose is not rich or lyrical, it does not glow, it does not leap off of the page. his characters have names like "Croaker" and "Darling" and "Shed" and "One-Eye". his cities have names like "Rust" and "Oar" and "Opal" and "Roses". there is a crude poetry to his prose. it is perfectly suited to what this series is trying to accomplish.

i read some reviews of this series before writing this review. a regular complaint is the lack of beauty in Cook's naming of people and places; a certain lack of fantastickal whimsy or majesty in the writing itself. SWOOSH, you are missing the point. The Black Company series is indeed pure fantasy - it contains magic and monsters and wizards and epic battles involving magic, monsters, and wizards. and yet its goal appears to be to reduce all the lavish world-building and all of the lustrous magic within those fantasy elements in service of making something that actually feels real. something that feels dark and dirty, and yet because of that dark dirtiness, something that also feels alive and warm. Cook does not write with a flair for microscopic detail; he does not envision his characters as having larger-than-life personalities or operatically tragic narrative trajectories. he is not George RR Martin. nor does Cook write with snarky, sizzling wit or an eye for the cinematic action sequence or a need to surprise the reader with various malevolent sucker punches. he is not Joe Abercrombie. he writes from a ground-eye view, from a working man's perspective, through the eyes of people who are neither all good nor all bad, but who are just trying to do what they can with what they have been given. they want to get paid, they do not hunger for danger, they want to make their lives a little better. so when the realization dawns that these disreputable, shady, completely fallible characters are trying to accomplish some good with what little they have available... well, it is a beautiful thing. if shades of grey can be considered a beautiful thing.

and he doesn't just do this for his soldiers. the third book portrays a powerful god-tree as a being who is just trying to do a job that needs to be done. he's grumpy about it. he is not particularly sympathetic to other people's problems. he's a good guy, apparently - but a disinterested one. after all, he has to focus on his own work. the series also features a rather loathsome innkeeper and various malevolent sorcerers and tyrants. they get the same treatment... after all, who is a villain in their own mind? the eventual realization that a loathsome innkeeper and a terrible sorceress-tyrant are also trying to do what little good they can accomplish comes slowly and is mapped out carefully, hints dropped nonchalantly, an accumulation of evidence. Cook does not push this revelation on the reader... it just is what it is. and so characters like Shed the Innkeeper and the tyrant known as the Lady - much like soldiers with names like Elmo and Croaker and the Captain and the Lieutenant - become real in a way that i have seldom seen accomplished in other works of fantasy.

great job, Cook. no wonder your series is such a cult classic.

although i think the first novel in the series is clearly the strongest, the entire trilogy is certainly a worthy experience. if you are in the right mindset, if military fantasy doesn't bother your more progressive sentiments, if you actually don't need things like sentiment in your fantasy.

Star of Danger

by Marion Zimmer Bradley

an entry in the Darkover cycle. pleasantly enjoyable overall, but also slim and rather forgettable. this one concerns Larry Montray, Terran, and his teen adventures on the wintry, semi-barbaric world of Darkover. those adventures come complete with assorted monsters & aliens, bullying street urchins & dastardly kidnapping bandits, psychic powers, a forest fire, an amusingly antagonistic bromance between our hero & an arrogant Darkovan lordling, and much contemplation & conversating regarding the nature of being a man & what constitutes honor in a fight (i prefer the Darkover belief system that loathes guns & bombs as the weak man's choice). this early novel in the long-running series has none of the mid-saga's books' fervent, near-hysterical emotional content nor their sometimes moving, other times soap operatic deconstruction of gender & sexual orientation. it is a pleasingly straightforward, clearly written, earnest young adult novel filled with boyish enthusiasm, teenage angst, and on-the-cusp-of-maturity musings on Adulthood. probably a good starting point for kids interested in Darkover. but are there any even out there?

The Last Unicorn

by Peter S. Beagle

so i set the mood for rereading The Last Unicorn by putting together a nifty mix of woodstock era classics, heavily featuring the likes of jethro tull & canned heat & richie havens & a lot of early pink floyd. i put on my comfy clothes. i brewed some tea. i picked my sunniest room and my cat - sensing my mood - snuggled in close. however, i did not smoke any weed. perhaps this was my mistake? nonetheless, the mood was definitely set and the enjoyment swiftly commenced.

this is a nice little book. it's sweet and cheeky and full of a kind of idealistic purity. it is very counter-culture in its quiet way. i was reminded constantly of things like Harold & Maude and King of Hearts and the Yellow Submarine and Jonathan Livingston Seagull. and of laying out on the grass with my friends during college in the 90s, happily on drugs and talking about life. it made me think of flowers and sunshine and animals that i like. this is certainly not a trippy book, but it is a pleasantly mellow one in tone and outlook. the writing is similarly warm and fuzzy. characterization is relaxed; living metaphors for freedom & authority & purity & greed & experience are mixed and matched in a loose, breathable fashion. the entire endeavor is what one would call a warm and human experience. i can see why this book has so many admirers and why it has apparently never been out of print. reading it is like reading a modern fable - it feels instantly classic, automatically timeless. and hopefully its beautiful messages about life and how to live it will never go out of style.

my favorite parts came early and then at the very end. the final standoff between our heroes and the Red Bull was very well done and genuinely gripping. even better was the time spent in Mommy Fortuna's horrible caravan. that was awesome! the descriptions of the different ensorcelled beasts, the dreaming spider, Schmendrick's introduction, Mommy Fortuna herself (such a poisonous yet rather sad & pathetic character), Mommy Fortuna as Old Age, and of course the terrifying, brilliantly rendered harpy... all quite delectable.

it's interesting to me to think about my two different reactions to the book: now and then. "then" was back in junior high, i think. i LOVED Schmendrick and found Molly Grue to be an annoying, tedious character. despite her, i loved the book from beginning to end. the beauty of its ultimate meaning (whatever that may have been to my 14-year old self) had me thinking about life and how to live it. many, many years later - yesterday! - i found Schmendrick to be distinctly annoying and Molly Grue to be the secret hero of the novel. this grouchy, critical, often overbearing middle-aged lady is also brave, honest, decent, completely down to earth - and such an unusual character to find as a lead in a fantasy novel. go, Molly, go! unfortunately, i also found myself to be positively un-charmed by all the anachronisms and whimsy. all that stuff just felt dated, goofy, sorta cheap. like that fookin butterfly for chrissakes. so unfunny. and judo. and "last of the red-hot swamis". and much more. ugh!


still, a lovely book with a timeless message. although i found those whimsical anachronisms to be obnoxiously precious & cutesy-poo, overall they didn't end up being too dire and my experience was not remotely ruined. hell, i roll my eyes at my closest friends and i still enjoy their company. so i did like The Last Unicorn quite a bit. it is sweetly appealing and genuinely charming.

Dr. Bloodmoney

by Philip K. Dick

Dick places his absurdist situations, bleak scenarios, and quirky characters within an almost pastoral post-apocalyptic san francisco-bay area. the setting is primarily a small town in marin, with everyday people slowly trying to rebuild themselves and their world. the writing is typically loose and off-kilter. results are sublime. and very strange, per usual. two oddly endearing yet threatening characters stood out for me amongst the compellingly diverse cast: Hoppy Harrington - cringing, deluded, armless & legless, gifted with increasingly terrifying powers and a very specific plan to take over the world; his nemesis Bill - whiny, yearning, able to speak to the dead, an unborn twin to a self-absorbed 7-year old girl, longing for a release into the larger world. watching these two face off against each other was worth the price of admission - their escalating conflicts are wonderfully amusing and often genuinely thrilling. and yet they are but two pieces in an intriguingly mystifying and often ironic larger puzzle.

this is a book of many minor, human notes; mournful and hopeful in equal measures. a true pleasure to read.

Kushiel's Dart

by Jacqueline Carey

once upon a time, in response to the question What Would You Like To See In Fantasy, i responded:

1. i would like to see an old woman as a protagonist.
2. or an interesting demon - but not a 'sexy' PNR demon.
3. or more epic fantasies set in steamy, wet jungles rather than european-style forests or meadowlands.
4. or a YA fantasy series in which the hero grows progressively more villainous.
5. or a hero who is also a slut (male or female)
________

i felt confident that Kushiel's Dart would allow me to eliminate number 4. alas, 'tis not to be. Phedre is no slut. i don't care how much Jacqueline Carey tries to convince us otherwise, the girl is no slut.

let me just start off by venting my confusion. okay, in this world, Phedre is an anguisette, which means that she gets off on (1) any sexual contact OR (2) PAIN, the kind experienced by a submissive during an s&m scenario. i put the OR in there because the novel can't seem to make up its mind which kind she is! that was really frustrating. if it was the first kind, well, bravo, i guess. i suppose that would make her a kind of natural-born slut, and that's awesome for her, no judgments whatsoever. you go, get it on, girl.

but she's not a natural-born slut - nope, not really. she doesn't get hungry at the sight of a cute lad or lassie - she just doesn't have that kind of slutty appetite. i think someone who is chemically castrated may actually have more horniness than Phedre.

so maybe it is the latter... PAIN! but then i bumped into a bit of underlying ridiculousness there that i just couldn't wrap my little mind around. the novel takes, um, great pains to note that Phedre is the first of her kind in 3 generations to have such exquisite receptiveness to PAIN. apparently other folks couldn't possibly enjoy any level of pain, not ever - not even the subs of the Harlot House dedicated to servicing sadists. really? seriously? what kind of world is this, Narnia? the Lollipop Land? Shannara? i just found that to be entirely naive, and therefore annoying. having genuine responsiveness to or enjoyment of a certain degree of pain in sex, let alone within an s&m or even rough sex scenario, is not exactly the rarest of sexual attributes. perhaps this strange lack of a not-uncommon ability, one that is actually rather widespread, is why this novel would be shelved within the Fantasy genre. what next - a fantasy world where no one's heard of doggy style?

okay, i guess i should actually review the book:

the first third of the novel is excellent! some excellent world-building, a sophisticated take on religion, and the emphasis on both politics and alternate sexualities was pleasing. the sex scenes were alternately graphic and subtle - i liked that, it lessened the monotony that comes with constant sexual description. the story was different things at different times: a coming of age tale; a novel of political maneouvering, treachery, and deceit; an elegant and erotic series of escalating sexcapades. Phedre & Delaunnay & Joscelin & Hyacinthe were all fun and enjoyable characters. overall, the country of Terre d'Ange is a fascinating place. if i were nobility, i would like to live there!

two quibbles:

first: the novel becomes rather annoyingly repetitious when trying to convince the reader that Delaunnay is so much more than a glorified pimp and that Phedre is totally fine with whoring herself out, no prob at all... it remained somewhat unconvincing. but maybe that's just my non-fantasy world perspective speaking.

second: all doms were portrayed as at least semi-villainous, and brutal beyond the bedroom as well. OH COME ON JACQUELINE CAREY! that just isn't fair. Joscelin - a man who clearly needs to more successfully sublimate his anger - should have the wherewithal to top Phedre, and he's no bad guy. come on Jos, get with the program! you too, Jacqueline Carey.

sadly, the rest of the novel was just okay, and it paled in comparison to the originality of the first third. there was nothing new, just alternate fantasy versions of the early germanic tribes, early england, early ireland. the pages turned quickly but that feeling of reading something very different evaporated quickly. the ending... eh. i kinda got tired of everyone practically shitting themselves at the awesomeness of Phedre. and "Phedre's Boy's".... ugh, that's so corny. and the use of magic, whether it be the dromonde or the "Master of the Straits" was unconvincing, abrupt, and just rather amateurish. ah well.

overall, the writing was above average. at times flowery, but that fits the novel. and there was enough promise in that first third that i'll probably take a chance on the second book. it would pain me to not find out where Phedre's freaky future sexploits take her.

Feed

by Mira Grant

YO, THERE'S SOME MUTHAFUCKIN' SPOILERS UP IN THIS BITCH, FOR REAL

★ 1 Shut The Hell Up Star for the most grindingly obvious villain that i've had the displeasure of experiencing in years. he's a militaristic, right-wing, fundamentalist old man with the ruthless urge to dominate and no respect for youth, the media, liberals, etc. i know these people exist, obviously. but can't targets be picked with a bit more subtlety and finesse? this guy was out of central casting and only needed a moustache to twirl to be more obvious. geez louise, Captain Obvious: The Author... not only is the target predictable, but his every villainous move is telegraphed with thudding, insulting He Is Bad Man-ness. how trite. obvious, obvious, obvious. SNORE!

★★ 2 Eye-Rolling Stars for some pretty shoddy writing at times. many times. no, i don't need to hear snarky comments made every other paragraph - because that's the way young adults on tv talk, not real young adults. at least not 100% of the time. and no, i don't need to read incensed reactions to hyper-vigilant security protocols every single time that a security protocol happens. good grief, enough is enough! repetition does not make this heart grow fonder. the second time this happened, i grimaced. the third time it happened, i began to hold a grudge. by the time it happened for the umpteenth time, yo, i was cursing up a muthafucking storm, for real. also, characterization for supporting characters: WEAK. i find out that Buffy was "the funniest person" that Shaun ever knew - and yet the reader has been given no evidence of this. in fact the reader has been given no evidence whatsoever that Buffy even has a personality beyond an OCD desire to be technologically on top of things. and at the end i find out that the nonentity known as "Rick" is now a vice-presidential candidate? uh, whatever. words can't convey my feelings of derision at that announcement.

★★★ 3 OK I Liked It Stars for Overall Enjoyment. i, as the stars say, "Liked It". would i recommend it? no, probably not, except maybe to a teenager (although, duh, that's the target audience, mark, get a grip!). so despite the above complaints, and see below, overall this wasn't a disagreeable experience for me. the zombie attacks were sparse, and despite being a zombie lover, i appreciated their sparseness - it rather lifted this book above straight-up horror. and this is, i suppose, a bonafide YA novel... so i also really, really, really appreciated the lack of Corny Eyerolling Romance Lite. thank you, author! 3 Stars should be automatic for any novel that  has intelligent goals behind its design, that seeks to entertain but also seeks to provoke and to make the reader both think and feel. 3 Stars for getting that right.

★★★★ 4 Good Job On This Stars for Edjumakation for the Youth. i am probably going to sound like an old man here (what's new), but the lessons in this novel actually are pretty important. and i think it is really important that The Young People, whoever they are, listen up. for real. the whole novel is an obvious parallel for what has been happening in the States RIGHT NOW. or i guess what could be happening in the forseeable near-future. the U.S. is at a very dangerous crossroads, with religious fundamentalists and sociopathic assholes in political power (and often in collaboration with parts of the mainstream media), and hoping to turn this country into Taliban Lite in terms of both domestic and foreign policy. yes, that's an exaggeration, but a purposeful one. now i love my conservative friends, so no offense to you all, but elements of the right-wing have degraded debate to a point where "debate" is simply a game of chicken. who can go the farthest? who can block the most policies? who can call who a communist or anti-american or [enter pathetic cliche here]. i think all the viciousness of the extreme right-wing quasi-fundamentalists is simply the viciousness of a group of close-minded, money-grubbin bullies who smell that the wind is blowing against them. but they are still in power! and they want to remain in power! and they have the resources to accomplish their disgusting dreams. so yeah, i appreciate all the points laid out so energetically in Feed. kids, teens, young adults, whatever... people should know what exactly is happening, and they should be pissed off and angry. the time for old men like myself is fading fast. and i'm not even that old - but me and my friends' main concerns these days seem to be more about day-to-day things involving work and family. and vacations. it was different when i was younger - i was angry! and broke, with very little in the way of tangible responsibilities. nowadays i just want to make sure i do the right thing on a daily basis - if i can say i've accomplished that, i've had a good day. so i really hope all the folks who are younger than me, all the folks who are inheriting this country and the earth... i hope that they are pissed off, angry, and that they want change. and for that, Feed is a 4 Star Call-to-Arms. well, not "arms" as in guns. you know what i mean. anyway, i really admire Feed's passion and its anger. i truly appreciate it.

★★★★★ 5 Golden Stars for that one chapter, and the one before it, and the one after. you know the ones i mean. She Dies. my God, that was moving. it was tough to read. i may have a ton of complaints about the writing overall, but in those three chapters, no complaints whatsoever. perfectly accomplished. i felt sick, i felt sad, i felt moved, i felt so much. beautiful job on that. incredible, really. i wouldn't change a word of Chapters 25, 26, and 27 because they all flirt with a kind of minor-note brilliance. just the kind that i like. wow! wow. so thank you for that, Mira Grant. a sad kind of thanks.